Long time, no see. I’ve been busy with life, to say the least. I got married! A thing I used to vehemently insist I would never want to do. Yet here I am. I love the unpredictability of life. And I love changing. Identity is not a stationary thing, it is a story. Mine isn’t very consistently written, but it’s entertaining. I can’t wait to see what I will grow into with this person I love by my side.
Fuck convention, though. We did our own thing, celebrating with a wedding festival which lasted for days. And we’re gonna live married life as it makes sense to us. Fuck gendered terms like husband and wife. We’ve settled on life partners for the time being. Here are my wedding vows (delivered in Swedish but translated into English exclusively for you, dear readers):
I promise you trust.
- I promise to trust your good intentions towards me and that you love me. Even when my anxiety tries to convince me otherwise. And I promise to be inspired by your trust, so that I reach out my trust further and further, until I dare to trust that everyone means well.
- I promise to trust that you’re dedicated to a life together in the long run. I promise to dedicate myself to an us, not only now but also in the future. My life isn’t just my own now, it is ours.
I promise to grow.
- I love that we remind each other to pause when life is running too fast. I promise to keep reminding you to chill and to prioritise what’s most important. Then it gets easier to remind myself of that.
- I promise to communicate what bothers me instead of hiding behind silence. I won’t always succeed at once, but I promise to keep trying until I succeed.
- I promise to take care of you when you don’t have the energy to be constructive, and I promise to take care of myself. I promise to prioritise my own needs, so that you won’t have to take care of me all the time.
- I promise to keep daring to heal. You inspire me not to let old traumas dictate how to live my life. You help me grow. I am curious about what we can grow into together.
I promise to love you. To love is such a big word that it almost doesn’t mean anything, so I will define what I mean by loving.
- I promise to support you in your dreams. I hope that we can keep dreaming together, but I don’t just want to realise the dreams we have in common. I promise to help you in any way I can to fulfill your own dreams.
- I promise to prioritise spending time together, so that we continue strengthening and developing our relationship.
- But if it turns out that we are no longer good for one another I promise to let go without bitterness. Even if our relationship was to end tomorrow, I still want to marry you today. You have already given me so much that it will always have been worth it to have been together with you.
- So I promise to live every day in gratitude, and never take you for granted.
- And though I value every minute spent with you, I promise to respect your need of time for yourself.
- At last: I promise to value your other relationships. Your kids, your other romantic relationships, your friends, your family. I promise to always welcome them in our home and to find joy in sharing the love for you with others. Shared love is multifold love.
That is what I mean by loving. I promise to love not only you, but everything that is important to you.
Love,
Tim
