The longest journey is the one within
A multitude of pathways to explore
Infinity resides beneath your skin
Inviting you to travel to the core
Each step you take will have to be your own
In silence you must face what comes your way
The darkest road you have to walk alone
Yet there is light to guide you on your way
If you should stray, each morning start afresh
Make of your mind a magnifying glass
Whatever comes, bear witness to your flesh
You’ll learn to trust that everything will pass
The course of living never did run smooth
But worth it, in the end, to find the truth
Wow. What a start of the year. A 10-day Vipassana meditation course. For sure one of the hardest things I’ve ever put myself through. I’ve been home for almost two weeks, and my head is still spinning. So utterly worth it, though. I think I have found the technique I need. I am curious to see what it will bring if I immerse myself in it. So I commit to a daily practise for a year.
I’d like to take a picture of myself now, so that I can compare with the new version of me a year ahead. There would be the skin and hair, colour and ink and scars. There would be the flesh and bones, a certain ratio of fat and muscles. Perhaps a self-conscious smile and tired eyes. What would it say about the state I’m in, really?
How do I capture the way I feel when looking in a mirror? How do I quantify the way my eyes glow with love at certain times? How do I even comprehend the amount of gratitude pulsing through me with each heartbeat?
In essence, I think there are two things I’d like to compare. The way I act, for starters. Will I change enough for my behaviour to change? To me it feels like the most obvious way to size up identity. If an internal change actually takes place it is bound to seep out into the world eventually, because “I” am not an isolated system.
Then there is my default state of consciousness. As of now I spend most of my time in oblivion, forgetting the fundamental interconnectedness between everything. Separation is the default state, although I gain occasional glimpses of divine truth. Could awareness of connection become closer to the default state? We shall see.
It feels slightly paradoxical to make a strong commitment while trying to stay clear of expectations. I guess that’s where trust is applicable. I choose to trust that good things will come of this, and I am open to experience what form they will take. Onwards!
Love and trust,
Tim
